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slapping my mother's ass

Nov. 11th, 2007 | 07:36 am

so i took a little family vacation last weekend with my mother, brother, and sister down to holly grove, arkansas to visit my mother's father, who is also my last living grandparent. never heard of holly grove, arkansas? well, it's a town of about 800+ and boasts a town square with its own post office! but to eat you have to go to a nearby town. and to get a paper you have to drive to the post office. just a heads up.

we roll in at around 1:00 and there are hugs all around until my grandfather gets to my mother, where he greets her with not only a hug BUT WITH A SLAP ON THE ASS, PEOPLE. my sister, brother and i exchanged glances of horror but quickly recovered. we don't slap asses in our nuclear. but as my brother said later that evening when we were getting wasted, "maybe he wanted to give her a "good game". 'nuff said

my grandfather is 83 years old. he's the healthiest old guy ive ever known. hes never had any health problems. hes up and walking around. and get this: he has eaten the same thing for breakfast for like 50 years: a banana and a bowl of instant oatmeal. breakfast of champions.

my grandfather is kind of hero. he told my brother and i all of these stories of when he was in ww2. he somehow figured out a way to get his men who were trapped on their boat onto the shore at the battle of normandy. he's also a bit of a freak because he only has 3 fingers on his left hand. he got hit with shrapnel at that same battle. he told us about how a german prisoner of war had to amputate his fingers or else he would lose his whole hand. what a guy.

what a weekend.

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back to work

May. 12th, 2007 | 05:06 pm

i now work in a basement medical chart filing room for 8 hrs a day. working in an office is difficult for me, because of that 3 year experience at that other place. yeah, i have my favorite pen, my bad internet sneaking habits, my lunch routine, but its all too familiar and unsettling. all of those paranoid fears are coming back about people and small spaces and im starting to hate it. but, a little relief is given by my new favorite person, Taylor, who is just as snarky and hateful of the experience.

in other news, im fascinated by my new neighbors. there's wanda, the sort of queen of the porch and michael, some guy, and willie, the older but very friendly grandfather it seems. nashville is a porch town. everybody and their porches. all afternoon, and into the night, they sit on their porch and talk and laugh and listen to music really loud. its so "community-esque" its sickening. the other night i was sitting on my porch (i have no chairs, so i sit on the ground) and this woman from across the street comes over with one of her chairs for me to sit in. i guess having a chair on your porch is important. anyway, i was so appreciative and i told my sister the next day why there was this chair on our porch and she was like, "i dont want it there". so i had to give the chair back. i feel like a fool. un-neighborly i say.

there have been no social outings for me save for one this week with Taylor. she works at one of those steak chain places. this really cute girl delivered our food and i asked her, is she gay? taylor was like, i dont know, she seems it. and her gay co-worker agreed. i hope this works out. who knows.

back to the basement where i belong

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going back/feeling lost

Apr. 17th, 2007 | 01:38 pm

its been a long while. my mother got married this past weekend and that seems the only thing on my mind besides being unemployed, single, and friendless in this town. i have the opportunity to go to atlanta and live at my godmother's studio. i really dont know what to do, really. living with my sister is sucky and i really cant see myself having a fulfilled life being so close...to THEM.

i spoke with this woman i made out with in china today online. thats seems noteworthy for some reason. all of a sudden i got this jolt of all of the good times i had in china, especially with her. now my brain seems to want to go back, see how lost i am? only for a girl would i want to go back to a country so foreign to me.

i just want to say that my brother is the coolest, most sincere, brilliant guy i have ever known. we had such a blast at my mother's wedding. drinking, smoking, and ending up at waffle house flirting with some girl he found hot at 4:00 in the morning. well, two girls. one was frigid-hot and the other was miserable-hot.

until next time-

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a new mix for you

Jan. 31st, 2007 | 02:00 am

1-Ben Kweller-Lollipop:
http://download.yousendit.com/D6B3322708E0C6BB

2-Psapp-Hi:
http://download.yousendit.com/437312861E9FB010

3-Cyndi Lauper - When You Were Mine:
http://download.yousendit.com/5271F0DC42C4910F

4-Beck-Missing:
http://download.yousendit.com/2231EA6D08D40434

5-Elvis Presley-That's all right:
http://download.yousendit.com/3E1326973EFC70BD

6-Laura Cantrell-Early Years:
http://download.yousendit.com/C63630A71EA43623

7-Ben Folds Five- In Between Days:
http://download.yousendit.com/2CAE7C9641AD8B19

8-Weezer - Island in the Sun:
http://download.yousendit.com/15FC393A401D624E

9-Oh No! Oh My!-On the town.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/488DA2115DA23A0D

10-Unknown-meat_cutter.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/0854001B598CF6C5

11-Jaymay-Gray Or Blue.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/F9FEB45A5DCEC507

12-Tiny Hawks-Untitled 2.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/737CF2FB0BFFF959

13-Beirut-Prenzlauerberg.m4a:
http://download.yousendit.com/3670D0627637BF5C

14-Peter Bjorn and John - Objects of my affection.wma:
http://download.yousendit.com/9C5740BA15FCC51A

15-David Bowie-Queen Bitch.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/60D8B67F66B66397

16-Matson Jones-Into My Arms.wma:
http://download.yousendit.com/872888793C543BBA

17- The Young Knives-Another Hollow Line.m4a:
http://download.yousendit.com/0FAFA19E77ECFD4D

18-Jens Lekman-A Sweet Summer's Night on Hammer Hill.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/B9A10F9A63A73ECF

19-Roxy Music & Brian Ferry- More Than This.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/C1F81A5F1D1941E4

20-Chad Van Gaalen-Sing Me 2 Sleep.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/0D36836529768ED2

21- Nouvelle Vague-In a Manner of Speaking (Tuxedomo.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/1329601C5576DC36

22-Commadores- Easy Like Sunday Morning.mp3:
http://download.yousendit.com/BF504076766F4BC3

hope yall like it.

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the blues

Dec. 11th, 2006 | 06:36 pm

its been a while since ive posted, mainly because its been a little drab around here. more hot pots, lots of rain, lots of people staring, jialing says shes not gay, etc. etc.

i love hot potting, dont get me wrong but i run out of things to talk about when my vocabulary only goes so far as pleasantries and casual conversation. i shouldnt be so glum. i mean im in effing china! but the language thing is really getting me down.

the thing about people staring is this: at first i laughed at myself thinking it was kinda cute that i was the only one around but now its kindof getting on my nerves. i wanna be like, "hey, im just a person like you. you dont have to follow me around and stare at me while i shop." those are the scary psycho-starers. i think it comes from all of the billboards and the magazines that have been shoved in these people's faces all of their lives. i look around the city and in every advertisement, theres some white face selling something. i must be a walking, talking, breathing representation of that. i guess thats fascinating. wow, me, a model, ha!

but me and jialing are getting along great, even though shes not gay. i mean, women here are under tremendous pressure and shes no different so shes expected to get married and shes making herself do just that. its kindof sad.

chrissmus is coming, that means im turning 27. send me some santa peeps, will you?

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shanghai #1

Nov. 27th, 2006 | 02:20 pm

went to shanghai this weekend! what a trip. first thing i did was get a 2 hour full body massage for 10 dollars. yep, 10 dollars. it was worth every penny or kuai. i then got sick again, hung out with hannah (http://huixingzhen.livejournal.com/ ) and her gf chris, who are the most perfect hostesses, in their lovely downtown apartment. the next day hannah had to go to work so chris and i slept late, then went dvd shopping at this place across from "movie world" called "even better than movie world". i bought 12 dvds and seasons 1-4 of curb your enthusiasm, all costing me close to 19 dollars. we then shopped more and went home to have dinner. 

i saw lots of interesting things like a couple of monkeys collecting money. i gave one some so hed stop following me. chris didnt and we had to run away from him. im getting used to this kind of thing, strangely. ive never seen a monkey up close before. i felt sorry for him, not that giving him money would save his life or anything.

this weekend was so inspriring for me. seeing hannah totally immersed in chinese culture makes me want to live here for 5 years too. she lives like "the people" and i find it so thrilling. i frustrate myself because i want to learn more, learn now, and the truth is is that it will just take time. its so hard for me to do the simplest things like order a coffee, figure out a bus route (because you cant just go online and see the schedules like in america, you have to either ask a million people or ride a particular route and see where it goes), read a sign (theres pinyin and then theres chinese characters. signs are in characters. pinyin is the pronunciation of characters. i know neither.), get somewhere in a taxi (i had to call hannah 5 times and had her talk to the taxi driver and tell him where she lived and sometimes, half of the time, taxi drivers in shanghai dont know where things are so riders have to provide directions, effing mad!), and be appreciative (my first chinese words that i learned were "thank you" but sometimes its just not enough, you know? im from the south, what can i say?) 

teaching is becoming fun. i just taught the class about the body. their usual teacher sat in the back and she didnt have to translate once. im thinking i got through to about half of them today. thats success. 

tomorrow i have to give a speech about the bilingual club at the opening of the bilingual festival. i told jialing that i woud just use big words that nobody would understand and then she told me that she is going to translate my speech for everyone after i give it in english. that was a downer, i havent given a speech since speech class in my freshman year of high school. i hope i can pull this off!

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my hot pot experience, etc.

Nov. 22nd, 2006 | 06:12 pm

i had the pleasure of attending a huoguo dinner, where a big pot is laid on top of a gas grill and soup is boiled. At different intervals, any and every kind of vegetable, meat, noodle i have never eaten is placed into this hot pot that is separated into two sections, one is hot and spicy, the other not so. i ate some bamboo (i didnt know that was edible), dried cherries, chicken feet, duck, and yes, even pig brain. it was delicious. these peeps know how to eat. meanwhile my party of ten sat around this pot of fire and made drunken toasts welcoming me to china, hoping that we could teach each other english and vice-versa. 



i learned last night about how men in china cannot wear green hats because it is thought that if he does, it means that his wife has another man on the side. this originated i dont know when but apparently there was this businessman who was very busy and when he would leave, his wife would tell him to put on his green hat, signalling to her lover that the coast was clear and he was going to work. i love these strange and wonderful practices that somehow make it just something that people do, or dont do.

later that evening, after slamming back oh....4 or 5 beers, eileen or jialing i now call her went to the bathroom together and i kissed her on the cheek. i feel like a fucking schoolgirl. and it feels good.

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picture time!

Nov. 19th, 2006 | 07:47 pm

its time to post some pictures, so here is one of my school:



this one is of my futuristic shower for one:



my favorite hall in the school, the 'tree hall':



and the one youve all been waiting for, eileen, my hottie assistant, who told me last night that shes not attracted to men (yes, there is hope yet):

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funny tuesday

Nov. 14th, 2006 | 08:05 pm

in class today, we were playing the introduction game and we got to this guy, we'll call him bill, who said, "hello, my name is bill. i like to eat monkey."

for the last week since ive been sick, eileen (my assistant) has insisted that i drink only hot beverages. like tonight. eileen and i had just gone shopping in the little grocery store in the "KFC Plaza" when i wanted to go get a drink in the KFC, so she asks me what i want. I tell her that I want some juice. she comes back with a steaming cup of orange tang and an ice cream cone for herself. how refreshing.

today was a good day. got to get in the classroom, got an office (with two other teachers, but so what?), got paid. im missin' some macaroni and cheese, though.

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biiiiiiig no no

Nov. 13th, 2006 | 03:04 pm

today i was minding my own business taking one of those chinese lessons online and i get this knock on my door and its the headmaster and a couple of her minions. as i stand, they started to gasp as they look toward my feet. so i didnt have any shoes on. or socks. whoops. i guess thats bad. so i quickly recover and lunge for my slippers. the next thing i know my teacher friend visits me and im telling her about the headmasters visit and she says, "yeah, i heard you werent wearing your slippers today.."

spreads like wildfire round here.

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